"The only thing standing between me and a colony of nudists is a one-inch thick motel door and a dead-bolt lock-and I am not opening that door. It doesn't matter what the circumstances or reward, nothing in this world can get me, naked as the day I was born, to turn the handle. That door may as well be welded shut and buttressed by a billion cinder blocks. That door could be the gateway to eternal happiness, and I still wouldn't open it. Better stated, I can't open it. For now, that door is shut, and I don't even have the luxury of a peephole to spy through and measure what exactly I've gotten myself into."

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